I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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