well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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