I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
