Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
