On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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