i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
