I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Acid is not a monday night drug
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
