i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
