It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize