FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
