i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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