so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
