Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
