hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
