So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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