I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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