Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize