just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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