Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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