This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
