Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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