It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
