This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
