Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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