I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
