i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
