we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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