i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
