The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
