Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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