I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
