The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
