Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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