My hand turned me down
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
