What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
third nipple confirmed
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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