I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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