This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
