I am in a vortex of obligation.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
