i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
