i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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