just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
