with your own penis?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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