Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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