We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
