im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Randomize
