I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
