meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She's the barista slut.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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