My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize