Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
