just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
soo... how was my night?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
