why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize