you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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