So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
