I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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