my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
