I smell stomach acid.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
