So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
