He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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