I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
