did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
