Yo dont text me then not text me
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
