If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
