it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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