I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
All I want is dick and wine.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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