enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
