I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
